


Pain and healing

by Fantasticoncer



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, F/M, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, Happy Ending, Protective Bucky Barnes, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Soulmates, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Telepathic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:26:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24098800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fantasticoncer/pseuds/Fantasticoncer
Summary: You used to hate your soulmate with a passion. Growing up with headaches so painful that they knocked you out will do that to you.When you're grown-up, your soulmate starts to really talk to you. You slowly grow closer without ever seeing each other and you find out that your soulmate is a tortured person. You really want to help him, but you have to find him first and when the person you're looking for is a master at staying out of sight, that's easier said than done
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Steve Rogers & Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 183





	Pain and healing

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognise.

When you were young, you hated your soulmate with an absolute passion. You always got giant headaches that were so painful that they knocked you out without fail at the most unexpected time and when you were finally old enough to try and talk to him, he completely ignored you, which in turn made you ignore him. You caught words like "asset" floating in your head, but you never understood what they meant.

Your parents were very worried when they found you researching several different guns after you heard them getting mentioned in your head. You finally tried again in your teens to talk to him, but he could never give you his name. He just called himself "the asset" with a certainty that honestly frightened you. It was as if it was the only thing that he knew. The most frustrating thing was that every time you seemed to get closer, another headache would happen and you would be back at the start and he wouldn't know you

However, the more you talked to him, the quicker he remembered who you were to him. However, this meant that the headaches came far more often and far more painful and with the realisation that the headaches were the result of whatever was happening to your soulmate at the same time, you decided to stop talking to him to save him from more pain. You really wanted to help him, but you didn't know who or where he was

Things didn't get any better for you when you found out that you were a mutant. Professor Charles Xavier visited you together with Logan and took you to the institute for you to learn how to control your powers. Like Logan, you had a self-healing ability, which meant that you would live a lot longer than normal people. You despaired at leaving your parents and soulmate, whoever he was, behind. It later turned out that you had nothing to worry about the latter. 

S.H.I.E.L.D recruited you as you could heal other people as well. After you had gotten complete control over your powers, you agreed. You were put to work in the hospital wing. You became pretty good friends with none other than Steve Rogers as the man was often found in the hospital wing, even if he wasn't hurt, but one of his team was. You told him about your headaches and about everything you could tell him about your soulmate. To your surprise, he quickly went to get Natasha Romanoff and told you to tell her the same thing.

You hesitantly did and she hummed in thought. "And these headaches have been going on ever since you were born?" She asked and you nodded in answer. "What did he call himself?" The spy asked. "The asset." You answered. "Any clue who it could be, Natasha?" Steve asked. "Only one and I really hope for you that I'm wrong." She said vaguely, before leaving. You and Steve just stared after her in confusion.

"Did you understand what that was about?" You asked. He simply shook his head, before following her. In 2014, you got the worst headache to date as it knocked you out for several days. However, just before the headache, you had heard your soulmate's desperate thoughts _. "Man from the bridge.... I knew him.... I knew him. Please, no. Not again"_ He thought, before your head felt like it was split open and you screamed, before fainting

You woke up to find the world turned upside down. S.H.I.E.L.D was actually H.Y.D.R.A, Steve's old enemy from world war 2. You managed to contact your old friend and after a rather harsh interrogation, you managed to convince him and the rest of the Avengers that you weren't one of the bad guys and that you genuinely had no idea what had been going on. Tony Stark himself then hired you to work for the team. You quickly got used to the new environment and were just happy to have a new job as the old one was literally destroyed. 

In the meantime, you had tried to find out who your soulmate was by the limited information that you had. The internet pointed you at only one person: The Winter Soldier. Your soulmate was one of the most dangerous people on earth and had a kill count that ran in the dozen. You immediately ran towards Natasha. "You knew, didn't you? The minute that I said "asset," you knew my soulmate was this Winter Soldier guy." You accused. 

"Yes, I did. I didn't tell you, because I thought that I was better-off not knowing." Natasha answered as Steve joined you. "Wait, your soulmate is Bucky?!" He demanded to know. "Who the hell is Bucky?" You asked in confusion, only to frown as Steve suddenly looked like you had punched him in the gut. "Probably not the best thing to say at the moment, Y/N." Natasha commented, before Steve took you to his room. 

There, he told you who the Winter Soldier really was and you felt sick. "All those headaches. Those were from when they were wiping his memory, weren't they? You asked and Steve nodded. You growled, imagining shooting every H.Y.D.R.A agent through their heads, despite not being a violent person. Steve told you that he and his new friend Sam were busy looking for him and you forcibly calmed yourself down. "Well, if either of you get hurt, I'll gladly help you get back to your full strength." You said and he grinned. "I'll keep that in mind." He said. 

With Steve and Sam looking for him, it was actually quite a surprise when he suddenly contacted you instead. " _Hello? Is anyone there?"_ You heard him hesitantly ask one day. Taking a deep breath, you replied back _. "Hello, are you alright?"_ You asked _. "Oh my God. You're real. I thought I had dreamed it_." He breathed and you couldn't stop the smile even if you tried. " _I'm here and I'm real.... Bucky._ _"_ You answered, hoping that you didn't go too far. 

_"You know my name?"_ He asked and you smiled. " _Steve told me. Said that you owe him_ _some stupid that you took with you."_ You said, Steve having asked you to tell Bucky that in case he didn't really believe you. You both didn't know what Bucky did and did not remember, but it was worth a try. " _Steve... I knew him. I knew him."_ Bucky whispered. " _Yes, you did and he's looking for you. He's worried about you."_ You answered.

 _"He shouldn't."_ Bucky muttered and you let a smile of sympathy and pity show. From that moment on, you and Bucky grew closer and you were there when his guilt over what he had done became too much or when he had a nightmare, you were there to calm him down and lull him back to sleep by thinking of a soothing song. Despite your former feelings about him, you started to care about him. You tried to find out where he lived to help Steve and Sam, but he refused to tell you. " _I don't deserve to be found."_ He said one day. 

_"I highly disagree with that. You deserve to rest and heal. Running is not healing."_ You retorted. He didn't answer to that, but what several days, he finally told you that he lived in Bucharest. You went there alone, telling the team that you were going on a well-deserved vacation and telling Sam and Steve to call you if you found him. They agreed, not knowing that you were going to meet him yourself. 

Arriving in Bucharest after a sleepless fight, you were a bundle of nerves as you paid a taxi to bring you to the right address. Going inside the apartment building, you climbed many stairs. " _Why do you live so high up?"_ You asked as you finally reached the right door, out of breath. " _You're here?"_ Bucky asked in disbelief and you chuckled as you knocked a pattern on the door. It opened for a second and a hand quickly pulled you inside. 

You were immediately pushed against a wall and looked right into two blue eyes. "I didn't think you would actually come." He murmured. You smiled and cupped his face. "You're my soulmate, Bucky. I would be insane not to go look for you after all this time." You said, caressing his cheek. He immediately leaned into your touch and you remembered that this was probably the first touch that didn't hurt in seventy years. You felt your anger rise at the bastards who had hurt him, but suppressed it. Now was not the time to get angry.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you, Y/N." Bucky whispered as he stepped back and you smiled. "Bucky, you have nothing to apologise for. It wasn't your fault and you're here now. That's the most important thing." You said, grabbing his left hand. You knew exactly that his left arm was the metal one, but you didn't care at all. Bucky immediately looked at you in wonder as you brought the gloved hand up and gently kissed his palm. 

"You're not scared?" He asked and you scoffed. "I've literally heard you make grocery lists in your head, Bucky. Forgive me for not trembling in fear." You answered. He let out a small chuckle, before slowly lifting his free hand and carefully cupping your face. "You're so beautiful." He whispered and you blushed, before leaning forwards and gently kissing the tip of his nose. He startled back, making you wonder if you had gone too far. 

However, he slowly started to smile and carefully rested his forehead against yours, taking a deep breath as his body relaxed slightly. You gently carded your fingers through his hair with your free hand, the other one still holding his metal one. He made a small sound of longing in the back of his throat and it made you smile. "It's okay, Bucky. I'm here now. The time of pain and forgetting is over." You whispered, continuing your actions. He let a small smile show on his face as he truly realised that you had come for him. 

After a few minutes, you found yourself lying on the cot that served as a bed, your head resting on Bucky's chest. The man was slowly stroking your hair with his normal hand, his metal one holding your hand that was resting over his heart, playing with your fingers. There was a peaceful silence, which was broken by your phone ringing. "Hey Steve." You muttered after reading the caller ID and picking up. 

_"Y/N, are you alright? You promised to call after you landed."_ Steve asked, a shuffling sound letting you know that Sam was listening too. You looked at Bucky and raised an eyebrow. He took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm sorry. I forgot. I'm in Bucharest with an old friend. He wants to speak to you." You said, before putting your phone on speaker and nodding at Bucky to talk. "Hello, punk. Y/N said that I owe you some stupid." Bucky drawled.

You snorted as silence fell at the other side of the line. _"BUCKY?!?!?!"_ Steve suddenly shouted. _"Of course, she finds him first."_ You heard Sam mutter, before Steve hung up. No doubt, he was running towards the nearest plane to get there as soon as possible. "You know he'll be here in a few hours, right?" You asked. Bucky hummed. "Well, a very wise woman once said that running isn't healing." He answered and you lifted your head to smirk at him. You put your head back down and closed your eyes."I'm sorry that we can never grow old together." You heard Bucky whisper.

"Bucky, I'm a mutant with self-healing abilities. If anything, I'll outlive you." You answered and he sighed in relief. You smiled and closed your eyes, the past few hours of no sleep catching up to you. "By the way, I like "James Buchanan Barnes" a lot more than "the asset."" You said, remembering your first conversation. He smiled at you and kissed your hair. "Me too, darling." He answered. It was the last thing you heard before falling asleep

**Author's Note:**

> Not exactly how it went in my head, but I'm okay with it. 
> 
> Read and review. See you next time


End file.
